Captains Log: Pre Departure

Some of our our random thoughts and feelings in the weeks leading up to departure.

30 May:

Excited at starting new chapter, felt good to spend time saying cheers to everyone at work. Weirdly almost emotionless and surreal

1 June

Last farewell with friends and family at home. A final bash before we start packing up the house. Great to entertain in our lovely home once again

3 June

After a day of buying items for Mr. Jones and trying to get last minute jobs done, slept terribly as the reality of never collecting another pay check dawns on me. In the past I could just swipe the credit card and there was a pay check coming, this won’t be the case anymore

4 June

No, we can’t not need all of this!!! How can we have so much stuff to give away, won’t we need some of it when we settle back down? BUT let’s get rid of it now. All seems a bit crazy, how many sets of towels, sheets, blah blah do we think we really need

7 June

STRESSED and tired, not sleeping and feeling overwhelmed.

10 June

Irritability running High in the house today. The chaos and stress of trying to pack up even though we still have some uncertainty of the house sale and transfer are beginning to show, both of us needed little timeouts today.

17 June

3 days after having brought the cats down to Natal to stay with Tania sister, they are struggling to settle. Thomas in particular seems very depressed and sits staring outside for hours on end or just doesn’t interact with us which compared to his old self shows he is very pissed off or depressed. Leaving them here makes sense but it is heartbreaking 

18 June

After all these years spent employed in this company I walked away with the reality that nothing you did or didn’t do makes a difference in the grand scheme of life.

Life goes on and you are just a vague memory of employee number 2904.

All the nights of not sleeping and worrying about deadlines/ budgets/ difficult clients or situations that you knew you would have to handle come morning are just meaningless. 

I know that I look at this from the front seat sitting in my current position but if only I could have realized it then and truly internalized what a small impact I was making.

Why was I getting myself so wound up and sending my stress levels in to stratosphere over situations that would ultimately play out as they where meant to with or without my contribution.

Did it ever truly matter are there not bigger problems in the world to worry about or do we become so inward focused that we cannot see the trees for the woods? 

22 June

The cats seem to be settling which great news and one less thing to worry about.

26 June

4am: How ironic that I sleep less now than when I was working and often very stressed out, back then my skin would flare up whenever stressed and I would feel wound up. Now my skin is great but without fail I have woken up almost every morning around midnight and struggle to go back to sleep, a very busy mind! Hopefully it will improve once we have completed the move out the house. The movers come today for our boxes and the couple of items of furniture we keeping.

28June

Emotionally and physically exhausted. Took our last things from home today. Even though we have given away more than we kept we still seem to have too much stored in Sam’s garage (perhaps we will slim down even more next week). We are officially homeless as of today!

1 July

Finally had a couple of goodnights rest and starting to relax. Cool to go shop mid -morning on a Monday, everything is so quiet and Woolies has loads of free samples out to taste. We enjoyed croissants with ham and cheese followed by yummy strawberries 🙂

5 July

A few days later and not sleeping properly again, grrr! Been a week of admin and trying to get all the little things sorted

9 July

Have come out to Pilanesberg for a few days holiday while we wait for admin processes to play out.  Had a lovely day in the reserve, spent a good few hours sitting at a picnic site in the furthest corner of the reserve reading and listening to the bush. Being mid-week we had it all to ourselves for practically the entire time we were there.

10 July

Stuck in No Man’s Land. Both of us have been feeling “out of sorts” lately. Is it because we are just waiting and can’t really say we are travelling/ travelers, definitely can’t say we have jobs or a career and we also no longer have a house. So, while we idle we feel out of sorts.

10 July evening

Our first petty theft!! So annoying, realized tonight that the small wire brush and gloves I use for the mini Weber have gone walk about.  Not cool Pilanesberg 

16 July

Been at Bela- Bela hot springs the last 5 days just soaking up the sun and hot water (surrounded by Silverbacks) which has been absolutely great. Both feeling really relaxed now. Even played like teenagers today on the super tubes and tube rides 

22 July

Found the Weber brush in my tool draws (apologies Pilansberg).  I have been in and out of that draw a few times since thinking it was stolen, may have even moved the brush and yet I didn’t spot it.  Looks like we may be losing our minds already.

24 July

Received the wonderful news that the house transfer is registered, which gives us a few weeks to close accounts and claim deposits back related to it.

31 July

While having lunch we were talking about how after 1,5 & 2 months respectively from finishing work it feels so long ago and strange to even think how much time was spent at work, how it dominates life and how it now feels so immaterial, etc. also how we don’t even miss the house or all our material items from it, we have just moved on.  It’s a great feeling of freedom.

3 August

Spent ¾ of the day with Mr. Jones mechanic getting to know Mr. J and conducting a final service before we depart.  Up to my elbows in oil.

7 August

Completing lots of last minute, purchases of spares, tools and other essentials. It is time to get on the road so that we can stop all this spending

8 Aug

4 days to departure and the to do list still seems so long. In the past whenever we have left for 4 weeks of holiday there is always so much to wrap up in the last days and mostly you get it all done but if something gets missed you know you will be back in a few weeks.  Not this time!

12 Aug

Finally, on the road, left behind a few oily spots on Sam’s driveway so that Mr. Jones can find his way back to Joburg one day. It is a good feeling to be moving forward.